A trail jogger in Colorado straight up whooped some mountain lion ass. A mountain lion lunged at the runner from behind and the dude took some hits to the face and arm but ended up choking that mountain lions ass to death. Take that, bitch.
The jogger, whose identity has not been released, was running alone in the foothills of the Horsetooth Mountain Park in northern Colorado when he heard something behind him. He turned around to see what the noise was and the mountain lion lunged at him, and the fight was on like donkey kong.
The jogger was bitten on the face and wrist, according to a statement from Colorado Parks and Wildlife. But my man was able to fight back, killing the mountain lion by choking it to death via rear naked choke, Nate Diaz style. The man’s injuries were pretty serious, he was able to get himself to a local hospital and is recovering now.
The man killed the animal by suffocating it, according to Colorado Parks and Wildlife’s Northeast Region. He put a rear naked choke on that bitch.
Colorado state park officials later found the body of the mountain lion near several possessions that the jogger asked officers to recover for him. The body of the big cat was taken to a state health lab for examination. Why are they going to examine it? I have no idea, seems kind of dumb no?
“In the event of a lion attack you need to do anything in your power to fight back just as this gentleman did,” Mark Leslie, Colorado Parks and Wildlife Northeast Region manager, said in the statement. Well no shit Mark, do you think we would just be like “Oh hey a mountain lion is attacking us, let’s just let it kill me and eat me.” lol.
The park closed after the attack for an investigation, but reopened Monday evening, according to the Coloradoan.
The parks service said mountain lion attacks on people are rare, with fewer than 20 fatalities in more than a century. Lions are “elusive animals” that “tend to avoid humans,” CPW said. Nonetheless, if people encounter a mountain lion, they should try not to run. “Running may stimulate a lion’s instinct to chase and attack,” the parks service said.
The parks service offered several tips for such an encounter: Face the mountain lion, stand tall, and make yourself appear larger by raising your arms and opening your jacket if you are wearing one. Never turn your back.
“What you want to do is convince the lion you are not prey and that you may in fact be a danger to the lion,” the parks service said.
If the cat attacks, all is not lost, CPW said. “People have fought back with rocks, sticks, caps or jackets, garden tools and their bare hands successfully.”
If you have to fight, the parks service recommends targeting the animal’s eyes and nose, or groin area if you know it is a male. If it’s a male, try to rips it’s testicles off and take them home as your trophy.